For the past few months, I cannot remember the last time I took to paint, or draw, come up with a print. I know printing was a blur... I know I did something that I liked. However, since November, life has been hectic, and as it has died down, I finally had a moment to think of everything.
For some background, here as been the past few months: Getting sick - Grandfather died - Birthday - Thanksgiving - Getting Sick - Holiday rush - Christmas - Moving - Finally moved in with Boyfriend.
My studio is mostly set up, aka, good enough to create. That's what I plan to do on my day off. It's rather nice having a separate room - the guest room - for my studio space. I can truly get away from normal life and escape to a place that is my own, under my own room. With settling down from the chaos, I have to face several thoughts about what I want to do.
Grad school is still on my mind. I have idea where (that's a lie I've looked into a couple), but with the lack of productivity I've lost a little bit of confidence about the decision (also lack of artmaking starts to sink me into a bit of depression mood, the winter does not help, but I'm sure once I just do something, all this will go away and I'll be as motivated as ever). Probably my biggest concern: What in the Hell am I going to do with a MFA in Art be it Printmaking or just Art. I have no clue. One of my bosses jokes how I could buy the business someday. Hmm, me, owning a frameshop, being my own boss, having a career? Or, back to my lifelong thought, I could become a teacher... but I've never taught, how do I know if I'll be a good one, and what age group should I teach? Or, I could just hope and pray I get some decent art related job that is decent pay etc....
It all comes down to the simple matter of, go to grad school. Just go to fucking Grad School Jessica. Go through another few years where you are going to cry your eyes out, where things are going to be hard, and you'll be stressed to death... and you know what? You'll love every minute of it, and when you want across that stage with an MFA you'll be so proud and know it was all worth it. You'll be happy.
Maybe blogging is just what I needed. Maybe I just needed to say, stop worrying about a career. Focus on the now, get into grad school, go through hell/fun, and figure out the next step in life. I have a good start. My parents support me (in the do what you want with life, we'll love you and be supportive of your decisions way), my boyfriend is freakin' the bestest ever (was that a super girly moment? gross.) who supports me and loves I have ambition, and I have good friends who have my back, and teachers who are encouraging even though I've graduated.
I've always believed I could do anything I set my mind to, well, that's what people say right? Anything is possible when you set your mind to it? I guess it's up to me to prove it.
