The Pan's Labyrinth soundtrack is so soothing and calm... and sad, bittersweet. I listen to the track "A Princess" and think of the film, visualize everything that does go on, and how in this piece of music, towards the end, you can hear Ofella's last bit of breath before she dies. Or maybe I'm imagining things. No, I hear it.
When I hear this piece, I imagine myself months from now and think of my last breath before I enter the room for orals, my last breath before I get questioned and the breath after I answer the first, the first breath when I leave the room, the first breath I make when I hear the door open... and then what? Either a breath of joy or one of sorrow. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking of things like this, especially now, but I overthink, I think into the future a lot. It's just who I am. I like to be prepared and I like to dream, especially daydream.
What's on my plate, especially for next week? Make collagraph plates, plan/design collagraph, finish paintings, work more on paintings, work on unifying a show, work on figuring out your space, work on updated bib for my mini-thesis, work on researching mini-thesis, work on digital media project, work on digital media homework, work on having fun and hanging out with friends.... the list goes on, and really, I don't HAVE to do all of that next week, some yes, but not all, in fact some things will take more time.
Maybe I still am an overachiever. Maybe I do work best under pressure. Maybe I worry and look ahead too much. Maybe I need to slow down. All I know is that I'm an addict to my studio. And that's why I'm about to go back.
Maybe the more work and more fun I have the better I'll be able to figure things out, work a lot, but have fun to take time to step away and come back fresh. I didn't have much fun today so to speak, but I am an addict. Off to my fortress.
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